11 April, 2011

Rational equations

Just bombed an Algebra test. Fuck! Nearly slept through it, too. Decided it was a better idea to get drunk than study. Whatever. Here's hoping there's (more) extra credit opportunity. The original professor died halfway through the semester. That's gotta count for something. A letter grade bump-up at least.


Don't feel like posting. Here're some pictures from my phone:
















 She was kind enough to give me a bite.



  













  
Schl0ng & me.















  
This isn't a setting on the camera. It's movie magic. 















 Shrunk my phone to the size of a fly's eyeball and had the fly take the picture.








That's Todd Barry in the middle, eye-level with Margaret. He talked about Amazon.com reviews and Tom's All Natural Deodorant. This was the best of the two pictures he'd tolerate. Had to miss Neil Hamburger to catch Knot Feeder at Gooski's.






Also, here's what's up today. Great warm weather jams. Play it in your hoopty with the windows down (as far as they'll go down).   


Or this, if you've got high blood pressure. 

05 April, 2011

Moochin' about . . .

Dreamed we were standing outside huddled together smoking cigarettes, all the neighbors standing abreast us, the sidewalks lined with people staring up at the night sky, at a pale jelly bean floating across the stars. Fetuses on black and white monitors continue to haunt me. Stomachs suddenly bulging with internal punches and kicks. What's it smell like in there? Does the baby have gils? If not, how is she breathing in all that goo? How can you tell her eyes from her stomach? Will her head always look like that, but with pretty blond hair to cover it up? All tehse remaining questions. That's why it's still terrifying. But pregnancy brings great joy. It's hard to say that without coming off as a pro-lifer, but it's a major source of happiness for me right now. Can't even look at my sister without laughing. And not because she's big as a house, but because she's finally giving this family a reason to celebrate. A baby instead of a burial. That nightmare was freaky, but I can't wait to meet my niece. Gonna sing her a Stevie Wonder song, probably it'll make her cry, but I won't care, she gonna learn to love and understand her Uncle Frankenstein's Monster.

Went to a party Friday or Saturday night, was treated very well, fed lots of beer and pizza. People watched the Pens game, played beer pong, gathered in the kitchen and screamed Clueless quotes, called cigarettes squares, talked outside about fractionated waters and declining piezometers on the long-term hydrograph while their girlfriends shivered and looked at the ground. A girl named Shaq followed me to the liquor store. It was a party.

Not much else to report. Zenith was sweet. Every time MF tries to talk to his new girlfriend it's like the most fucking awkward you've ever seen. She's busy, ya know? It's brunch at a vegan restaurant, so she's runnin' around, tryin' to get her work done. Meanwhile, he's creepin' around the entrance to the kitchen, pokin' his head in, gettin' in the way, starting a salutation then bailing halfway through, letting his greeting smile melt into an awkward no-lipped grimace. Caught him doing this last week. Told him: "Dude, that's gonna make my grandchildren feel awkward."

Went to Rock Bottom with Marge, finally spent that groupon we got on Valentine's Day. Food was decent, beer was great. We got into a huge fight on the way out, both of us hungry and sick of each other. What a great girl. 

Tripped on the way home the other night in front of these young dudes, didn't lose my shit or anything, but I was movin' pretty quick and didn't see the uneven pavement, didn't really trip, though, only stumbled forward like six or seven steps, found myself in a three point stance again, but I regained my balance, hardly missed a step. Mustered a smile and had to walk past the young dudes, they were falling all over themselves with laughter. Turned and looked back at the bottom of the stairs. They were still back there, laying on ground, carrying on.

Nothing new from KVLTVRE, but I did write a new short story. S'posed to read it in class on Thursday. It'll be posted shortly thereafter.

That's about it. Hung out with Joe Marino's Rottweiler puppy, HeyZeuss. He peed on MF's floor, Joe cleaned it up with toilet paper, then packed a bowl. No I did not omit the part where Joe washes his hands. Joe did.

Tim got a new puppy, too. Sent a video of him petting it at night in a garage. It has the cutest eyes. Everyone's gettin' dogs, man. Guess I better kick these allergies quick.

Missed 90210 and Gossip Girl 'cause I was at MF's watchin' the game with him and Schlong on DSL. Anyone catch 'em? Were they awesome? Can't believe Butler lost again. Whatever. Kemba Walker is ridiculous. Would've been cool if Butler had won, but how can you not get pumped watchin' that dude play?

Jam of the week:

 
This is way better than I expected. Of course I expected it to rule, but Apocalypse really exceeded my expectations. And to think I used to not dig this guy. It was that song "I Break Horses" what changed my mind. The opener is a stompin' jam and definitely hooks you within the first ten seconds. Then every consecutive song is worthy of being your favorite. I was about to say "America" is the best because it's hilarious and he rhymes "Vietnam" with "North Ameri-can," but before that you have "Baby's Breath," and "Drover" - which kicks off the record. Then the final track, "One Fine Morning," is Smog and Bill Callahan in a nutshell. It's such a perfect ending to this album. "Yeah, it's all comin' back to me now . . . My apocalypse . . . My apocalypse." Keep droverin', Bill, don't listen to 'em.